36M and am aware that I look even younger for my age. I've scrimped, worked extremely hard to make additional income, and finally hit a mark where my wife and I agreed that we could retire indefinitely. I decided I liked my job so kept working. Ended up quitting a few months later due to stress with work and personal stress (father ill). I have to say. IT'S SO WEIRD being retired. Ever since, I've been asked countless times what I do for work - or how's work going. Maybe I just never noticed how often I was asked before but there is no good way to respond. If I say I'm retired, I get an almost shameful feeling for "bragging." If I say I'm unemployed, I get the same feeling but for being "unemployed." If I say I'm taking a break from work or just say what I used to do (software engineering), it seems like I'm lazy or that I'm lying. You really do lose your identity when you retire. I really thought I'd love being retired, not having the stress of work, etc. Instead, I'm bored out of my mind. I dreamt of the day I could sit and play video games in my pajamas. I don't even like video games anymore. I sit and put together LEGO sets. I find myself not working on new sets to try and save that excitement for another day. I'd laugh but I'm being serious. Decided to go back to work and just accepted a job that pays less than half what I used to make but seems really chill. Hoping that'll be a good balance. Someday, I'm sure I'll want to retire again. So in preparation...
If you retired (especially if you retired young), what's your story and/or advice?
Every video I see is staged or an ad. Every piece of information that comes out of official sources is AI generated or a copy and paste. YouTubers just react to drama surrounding each other or these fake staged videos. Images are slowly being replaced by malformed AI art. Videos are following suit. Information is curated to narratives that suit powerful entities. People aren’t free to openly criticize things. Every conversation is an argument and even the commenters feel like bots. It all feels unreal and not human. Like I’m being fed an experience instead of being given the opportunity to find something new or get a new perspective.
I(m40) cheated on my wife (f40) and she found out about it. She wanted a divorce at first but I begged her to stay. She is the love of my life and I can’t live without her. I cheated on her because I was selfish and so stupid. After a few months of therapy and counseling, she took me back but she said that cheating wasn’t an achievement. I wasn’t someone special to find someone to sleep with me, and the girl wasn’t special for “stealing” a married man and she will prove that to me. She will cheat on me and I will never find out if she didn’t want me to. It could come when I am at my happiest and most smug self. Anytime she would be late at work or have a girls night out. Or visit her mother or take an extra long workout session at the gym. Every time I will see her smile and content I will never know why. Anytime I touched her I would never know who touched her before me. Every time she turned me down I wouldn’t know if it was because she really was tired or just satisfied. I will never know how, when or where. I will never known with whom. Maybe someone very random, older, younger, more handsome. Maybe someone close to me. That or I could just leave her.
I haven’t had a good night sleep since she told me this. I know I deserve it but I just can’t stop hurting like I am losing my mind soon because of this pain.